The Anti-Gym Revolution
Why 8,000+ Angelenos Choose Chaos Over Crunches
“We’re not here to shrink you - we’re here to amplify you. If you don’t leave class slightly terrified but wildly proud, we’re doing it wrong.”
– Alessia Marquez, Founder & CEO
What Makes Elevate LA Different?
LA’s Only Full-Spectrum Fitness Experience
- 24/7 Recovery Lounge with CBD massage chairs
- Rooftop saltwater pool (heated year-round)
- Themed classes: Beyoncé Bootcamp, K-Pop Cardio
- No mirrors policy - focus on feeling over aesthetics
📅 Signature Class Schedule
| Class | Duration | Intensity | Best For |
|---|---|---|---|
| Pole Flow | 45min | 🔥🔥🔥🔥 | Confidence building |
| HydroBurn | 60min | 🔥🔥🔥 | Joint-friendly strength |
| Jump Combat | 30min | 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 | Stress relief |
| ZenStretch | 50min | 🔥 | Injury recovery |
| Power Bounce | 45min | 🔥🔥🔥 | Cardio haters |
💸 Pricing That Doesn’t Require a Trust Fund
Tier 1: Night Owl
$149/mo | 8PM-6AM access + 4 classes
Tier 2: Weekend Warrior
$199/mo | All-day weekends + 8 classes
Tier 3: VIP Diehard
$299/mo | 24/7 access + cryotherapy
🗣️ Real Member Stories
”I Found My Gangsta”
“As a 40yo accountant, I never thought I’d be doing aerial silks. Now I’m the guy doing handstands at family BBQs. My kids think I’m cool?!”
– Raj P., North Hollywood
The Breakup Recovery
“After my divorce, I cried through 3 weeks of Jump Combat. Now I teach the class. Take THAT, Brad!”
– Mia R., Silver Lake
🌟 5-Star Amenities Checklist
- Valet parking ($5 for members)
- Dyson Supersonic® in locker rooms
- IV hydration bar
- Pet spa (for your post-workout pups)
- Free tampons & hair ties (no judgment)
🤔 Why Join Elevate LA?
For Those Who Hate:
- “Sausage fest” gyms
- Kale smoothie cults
- Fitness trackers
- Silent yoga retreats
Our 2025 Goals:
- Host LA’s first underwater Zumba rave
- Train 1000+ teens through scholarship programs
- Make “burpees” an obsolete term
Ready to Rebel?
123 Sunset Revolution Blvd, West Hollywood
Open 5AM-1AM (Yes, really)